Should You Have Kept Your Mouth Shut?
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”If you wouldn’t write it and sign it, don’t say it.”
–Earl Wilson
As an actor I have a hard and fast rule that I live by when it comes to other cast members: If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all. I never give false compliments, I see no need for them, but neither do I criticize. Too many times we find ourselves in situations in which we are less than pleased with one person or another for one reason or another, and in those moments we are faced with a difficult decision; we could speak our minds or clam up tight. Certainly we’d feel better at the time if we just opened our mouths and let fly our displeasure, but later we may regret it for any number of reasons. So stick with the rule your mother taught you, speak kindly or speak not at all.
I have never seen the need for false compliments. I do not want them, and I do not give them. If someone has not done well, why tell them they have? We could lie to avoid hurting their feelings, but in these situations I usually just choose to find something nice to say that will act as padding while I tell them what I really think. It’s the candy-coated medicine theory, wrap your criticism in genuine compliments and they tend to go down better. The key here is that my “something nice to say” must be genuine or else there’s no point in it. But let’s be honest, compliments are usually not our problems when dealing with other cast members, our problems lie in our criticisms.
Most of the time, our mouths get us into trouble when we begin to criticize others. For whatever reason, someone in the cast has gotten on your nerves. They’ve annoyed you a few times before but you bit your tongue and decided to overlook it; no reason to start trouble, right? But now they’ve really done it, now they’ve really stepped over the line, what should you do? Should you say something? Well, it depends on the situation, but I’ll tell you what you shouldn’t do: don’t complain to another cast member. If your problem warrants talking to the problematic cast member in question, do that. If your problem warrants talking to the director or stage manager, do that. But don’t, I repeat, don’t talk to another cast member about it.
Actors are the biggest gossips in the world. We talk. A lot. With that in mind, always remember that anything you say in front of one cast mate will eventually be repeated to another cast mate. Thus never complain to anyone who has anything to do with your cast. Go home and throw a tantrum in front of your significant other, but wait till you get home. Most actors already know this, whether you’ve learned it from a teacher or through bitter experience. What most actors don’t realize, however, is that complaining about cast members can also become a crutch for their own laziness.
You go through your scene and it just doesn’t feel right. Something is off, every time you try it. You can’t put your finger on it, but there is just something wrong with your performance. Eventually you may decide that it’s something out of your control so you go to the director for help in fixing the problem. You tell him your problem: the other cast members aren’t picking up their cues, or they aren’t standing in the right places, or hitting their marks on time. Whatever the reason, you decide that this is what is wrong with the scene and implore him to make changes. While you may in fact be correct with all of your criticism, it doesn’t change the fact that you’ve made yourself look like a complete ass by making it seem as if you’re the only thing holding this scene together and the others are holding you back. You wouldn’t look a director in the eye and say that in those words, so why say it in any others?
It seems like such a valid reason at the time, but if you really stop and think about it you’ll realize that this is nothing more than an excuse. Never tell anyone that your difficulty lies with the performances of others because the truth is that it doesn’t. When asked about problematic scenes, say only that you will continue to work on it and that you welcome suggestions. Your problems do not lie with others and, if a few late cues throw your performance off, you haven’t prepared enough.
Remember that your preparation is not dictated by anyone else and neither is the finished product. If you can take credit for your success, you must be able to take credit as well for your failure. So ask yourself now if you do any of these. If you do you’d best start curbing these habits now. I know better than anyone how nice it is sometimes to just have a good bitch session. I absolutely love getting together with people who share my pain and letting fly every nasty thing I can think of about a given problem. When I’m upset, these sessions make me feel better because I can get my problems off my chest and put them behind me. I’m the last person to suggest that you should stop complaining, I’ll only say that you should rethink when, where, and why you do it.
Overcoming Stage Fright - the Christine Kane Way
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I’ll be perfectly honest with you; I’ve been dying for Christine Kane to write a blog post that could even remotely pertain to acting just so I had a viable reason to talk about her. Here it is, my chance has finally come!
I stumbled across singer/songwriter Christine Kane’s website about two weeks ago and was instantly hooked on her blog. She writes wonderful articles about creativity, personal development and what it is to be an artist, no matter what your art form. H’m, bettering art through bettering the artist . . . where have I heard that before? Anyway, as I devoured her articles, I found myself wondering what her music was like so it was off to iTunes I went. I downloaded Rain & Mud & Wild & Green
Now I’m a Dar Williams fan, a Sheryl Crow fan and a Zig Ziglar fan and if Dar Williams, Sheryl Crow and Zig Ziglar all collided, they’d create Christine Kane . . . that sounded more appealing in my head, but trust me it’s a great combination. Anyway, I could rave about her website and her music all day, but I should probably talk about the something that’s remotely pertaining to acting.
In her update yesterday, Christine detailed 9 methods for overcoming stage fright, speaking from the point of view of a singer. I’m here to tell you that there is only one method on this list that doesn’t apply to being an actor and that’s Number Five: Get in the Audience. Other than that they are great methods for anyone who is planning on getting in front of large groups of people any time soon.
If you couldn’t tell by now, Christine Kane is quickly becoming a hero of mine and I can’t recommend her writings or her singing enough. If you get a chance, go check out her entire blog, paying special attention to those nine stage fright tips. And if you’re ever in the mood for the folksie/rockin’/incredibly well written music I suggest you run out and pick up one of Christine’s CDs or her new DVD which she is selling on her site and which will soon be finding its way into my collection.
Go check her out, if you’re a fan of the Alchemist you’ll soon become an even bigger fan of Christine Kane.
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