The 10 Commandments and Some Theatre Jokes
Going for a nice, short update today, I thought you guys might enjoy this as much as I did. Theatre Humor. That’s right. You’re reading it correctly; Theatre Humor. I stumbled on this a while back and bookmarked it for later use. The page of acting jokes, hosted on briarose.org is surprisingly long, but well worth a read. Not only is it pretty damn funny, but actually incredibly useful.
To illustrate the useful side I’m including a little snippet called
The Ten Commandments of Theatre
- The Director is God. Thou shalt not take notes from friends nor family, coaches nor critics.
- Thou shalt not take the name of thy producer thy angel in vain, for he shall sign thy checks.
- Remember thou keep holy the half-hour; keep in mind that an actor is never on time, an actor is always early.
- Honor thy author and thy composer, for in the beginning were the words and the notes.
- Thou shalt not kill laughs nor step on lines; still, thou shalt pick up thy cues.
- Thou shalt not adulterate thy performance, for thy stage manager is always watching.
- Thou shalt not steal scenes nor focus nor props.
- Thou shalt not bear false witness in thy bio nor résumé; indeed, thou shalt be truthful in thy entire performance.
- Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s lines; for truly, there are no small parts, only small actors.
- Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s good fortune; for in fact, all actors must pay their dues.
Hah! I’m all about that third one. In fact, I believe I talked about that in the Vital Importance of Professionalism. Pretty good, though, aren’t they?
And to illustrate the hilarious side, I thought I’d include:
Blocking
The art of moving actors on the stage in such a manner as not to collide with the walls, the furniture, the orchestra pit or each other. Similar to playing chess, except that the pawns want to argue with you.
You want it not to be true, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t. I thought you guys might get a kick out these so hop on over to www.briarose.org/theatre.html and check out the rest. Also included are the 10 Commandments of the Costume Shop, the 10 Commandments of the Stage Manger, and 10 Commandments of the Techies. Read ‘em, love ‘em, print ‘em out and post ‘em somewhere in the theatre. You know you want to . . .
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2 Responses to “The 10 Commandments and Some Theatre Jokes”
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Funny & Useful stuff all around, as always.
I wanted to pose a question. I understand that you work in Atlanta. I don’t act much anymore: I’ve turned mostly technical but a close friend of mine has recently finished school and is looking to perform.
How important is an agent in Atlanta? In New York and Los Angeles one can hardly get a part without one. In ATL, though, most actors seem not to have one. What are the advantages and disadvantages of having an agent in that town. Do you have one and are there any you know of that are particularly good, any to be avoided?
I liked your question so much the answer became a post Atlanta Area Actors, Agents and Alliteration! Hope it helps.