The Actor Who Succeeded By Failure

“The journey is the reward.”

–Chinese Proverbs

Today I’m going to tell you a tale of an actor whose hubris got in his way and kept him from the role that he truly wanted, only to discover the role he needed. This actor had begun to doubt himself, though he had no real reason to. You see he had been an actor for years and all but one time, he had achieved his goals and played the roles he dreamed of. He had no reason for these feelings of doubt, but he felt them just the same.

Hearing one day of a new audition, he set out for the role he felt was perfect for him. It was a role that called out to him and he felt a burning desire to play it, not because it was something he felt passionate about, but because it was a leading role. Certainly he’d played many leads in his time, but this time he wanted a part simply because it was the leading man, not for what he could bring to it, or what new experiences he could glean from it.

So burning with a passion to prove his talent by landing the part of the leading man, our hero set out to his audition, having spent days preparing. He had studied the role, agonized over monologues and scenes until he was certain he was ready for anything that could be thrown his way. All through his audition one thought prevailed. “I must get this part, I must get this part.” It was all he could think of and it drove him mad. He waited anxiously only to discover, much to his chagrin, that he had lost the lead and was instead cast in the role he should’ve originally auditioned for in the first place.

Dejected and confused, he sat down to figure out what was wrong with him. Once found, he wrote it down to share with you.

The hero of our story is, of course, me. Everything I just related to you recently happened to me. It’s embarrassing to admit, but I’ve vowed never to pull any punches on this site, including those that hit me. I tell you this story to share with you my moment of temporary insanity, so hopefully you can avoid it in your own career.

You see, when I sat down and thought about loosing that role it occurred to me that my failure was a learning experience. I lost that role because I wanted only to serve my own ego. I had lost sight of what role resonated with me as an actor and went straight for the role that was more glamorous to me. That was hubris and I saw that I had gotten what I deserved. In the end, I was given the part I needed, the part with resonance, and it truly was the best role for me.

What’s the moral of my story? It is two fold: 1.) The purpose of an audition is the audition, not the part you want and 2.) Finding the right role for you is more important than how many lines you have. When you go into an audition, your mind shouldn’t be focusing on getting the part you really want. An audition is not a means to an end; an audition is an end in and of itself. Thinking I must get this part will only serve to distract you from your ultimate goal, which is to wow your auditors with your talent and show what you can bring to the stage.

Auditions are meant to showcase your abilities, but if you become distracted with thoughts of ego and pride, you can sabotage yourself in the end. I can’t say that this distraction is the reason I didn’t get the role I auditioned for, there are too many factors to say that, but I can say that it certainly affected my audition performance and all my preparation was wasted by it. When all is said and done, I am truly thankful for the experience. Not only did it help me to learn these lessons again, but it allowed me the chance to share my mistakes with you. If you can learn from my mistake and avoid pitfall of pride then I will consider The Alchemist a successful endeavor.

So from time to time, ask yourself if you are focusing on the correct things in your career. If you are looking only at those things which serve your ego, you are not on the right track. Theatre is about life and the decoding of the human experience through the experience at its purest form. It is an art form that has survived the centuries and the rise and fall of empires. Every second we are in its presence, we must bow to that fact. Every second onstage we must remember that we are there to experience its magic and not the other way around, for theatre will survive with or without us. It does not need you or me to thrive, you and I need it.

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